Introvert’s manic depression

Introvert needs space, just to get charged. It might be very hard to understand for an extrovert that being among others eats introvert’s energy. We need to charge our batteries so that we would could smile when being with other people. When our emotional balance is ok, we are smiling and very wonderful creatures.

We can grow very thick skin with years of experience. It works like seal skin, containing storage energy. Conferences, long meetings and being with other people makes us like smart phone. We need to load battery many times a day if in continuous use. We run out of battery, we want our personal space and relax in your imaginary castle. In the uninterrupted space.

Morning crusty introvert could have enough energy to show up shiny and with happy steps. He smiles to everyone, talks and someone can even think he is an extrovert. He is in manic phase. Fuel under the skin does not run out. Instead, very strong emotional flow will come through a thicker skin.

There are good days and bad days. Sorry to compare with the old name to bipolar disorder.It is not really a disorder, just looks like the same. When introvert runs out of energy, it will trigger the disagreeable bear that has lost its bear cubs. If feeling is not familiar to the person, the situation is worse. Introvert does not even know why there is spit around a head.

Introvert’s introversy and feelingless appearance does not mean that the person does not feel. Quite the opposite! Roller coaster inside starts to speeding and it is time for depressive phases. It is better to hide the feelings instead of showing them. There is an urgent need for safe haven. A place where to be alone and gather yourself is needed. The volume of imagination and emotions is rising and there is need to get safe. “I don’t want to share my feelings. They are private and does not belong to any other person.”

It is very individual that how many hours you will last before the “depression”. There could be also special moments which actually give introvert energy instead of taking it. Introvert’s inner world bubbles under the surface. If the stages of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs are filled, introverts are very nice and able to communicate. If not, please give us room.

I’m at Stockholm airport at the moment. I missed connection flight, two days in a conference. I just wait to get home. Clock is ten in the evening. This is are great opportunity to meet new people – no! I had great opportunity in the conference – as planned.Now I just want to get home!

How many hours your manic phase lasts? When do you get depressive? Is one hour loading enough to go on for several hours? Do you need two? Do you need music during your loading or maybe do you need to settle down?

Recognize your bogey!

Originally written in Finnish 29.11.2018